I'm BBLLAAAACCCKKK . . . I Mean I'm Back . . . Haha . . . Sorry?

Yes, that's right people I'm back in business. Not the kind of business that I spent 10 years with my face against the wall of the showers, the new one . . . The less homo erotic one, blogging. I took a long vacation, a vacation that involved me shit kicking my computer, it has spy wear up the ying, but even more up the yang. But I worked around the bitch and now I'm back, back to talk about what's wrong with the world, your mom, . . . . And . . . . Santa . . . Yah Santa that fat bastards. When you think about it, he isn't that nice, he works once a year and makes the elves do all the real work . . . Imfact what do they get paid? Are they slaves? I know the magic 8-ball will tell us, let me just give it a shake . . . Ok now something is showing up . . . Ok it says . . . "Not Sure, try Again Later". Ok lets do this again . . . Ok it says . . . Hold on I got to shake it a bit there is a bubble in the way . . . It says "All signs Point To YES". I knew it, that fat bastards is a slave owner, that's why he lives away from civilization so that he doesn't have to give up his possetions. You can't be tried for slavery if your not an official country. He probably use to be a slave owner in America, then after slavery was abolished he was like "Fuck this I'm outta here" So he left and took the 2 of the smallest black slaves he could find one male one female, and shoved them in a sack. Wait one second, a sack, could that be the same sack he careys presents in . . . Now we are hot on the trail people!

So then he takes a his wagon, his wife, and his sack of slaves as far north as he can . . . You know north to freedom, wait Mexicans say the same thing . . . But their not allowed . . . But any ways I got a little off topic sorry. OK so Santa or Christopher Wifekicker Nicholas hit a cold climate and his horses died. So he then pulled out his laser sword, and spent the night in the horses with Mrs. Nicholas, and the slaves, The next day he seen some reindeer, and he thought to himself, "They are living in such a cold climate, I must enslave them" so he did. They then pulled him so far north that the reached a pole, a giant pole so far north . . . The north pole. So he built a house and barn out of all the The lumber that is in the Arctic, and there his maggot slaves did his bidding. He spent many years there but he lived a lot longer because it takes like 8 days for the sun to set and 8 days for the sun to rise so a 1 day is and average of 16 days for us. So many years pass, then the I.R.S. find his house (Those guys can find anything), so the IRS told him that he got to pay back the government "100 million dollars" and then he put his pinky finger to his lips. So Christopher worked out an agreement that he would pay everyone back by giving toys to the kids of the world. So they all agreed, so Christ got his slaves to build the toys. But by this time there was a lot more maggot slaves, there wasn't much more for them to do but bread, and do to the cold there skin pigment changed and they became white, so now there called Elves.

So now every year he always drops these slave worked toys at everyone's house. But when you think about it that's why everyone is so hateful in those Christmas specials. Do to all the hatred that Santa spews, it affects the rest of the village. That's why everyone hated Rudolph for his nose, and that gay elf for wanting to be a dentise. But then all of a sudden wait Rudolph your nose is good for seeing things, well then you can be on my sled then, and when the gay elf could give root canals they wanted an appointment. What a crewel world that is, wow and I uncovered the truth all on my own . . . I'm the best. Wait till the next one when I talk about the horrors of the tooth fairy and Easter bunny. But one of these days I'm going to PUNCH U IN THE FACE!

See Ya?